Artwork by Chris Bilheimer
It’s that time of year again! I’m ready to kick off Spooky Season 2023 in grand style with a trip to Austin, TX for Alamo Drafthouse’s Fantastic Fest Film Festival, which programs the wildest, most bonkers horror, sci-fi, fantasy, and cult genre films out there.
My dear, Constant Readers will know that I attended my first Fantastic Fest – in addition to my first full-blown film festival experience – last year at Fantastic Fest 2022. Since last September, I’ve covered two more fests, South by Southwest (SXSW) 2023 in Austin in March, and Dallas International Film Festival (DIFF) 2023, in May, in my own backyard.
Fantastic Fest 2022 was an exhilarating yet exhausting whirlwind eight days. The exhausting bit was partly of my own making. A few rookie mistakes severely limited my hours of shut-eye. My original plan for covering the fest was to publish a write-up every morning covering what I had seen on the prior day. I crashed and burned hardcore on that goal. I ended up publishing coverage of only three of the fest’s eight days. It took me two days to realize that the way I was doing it was unsustainable.
With five rounds of films each day, including a full round of midnight and midnight-adjacent screenings, I was getting roughly four to five hours of sleep those first few nights. I’m an early riser anyway – to the endless frustration of my wife, who is…not – so my eyes were popping open by 5:30 or six, even when I hadn’t gotten to sleep until one or so in the morning.
I would then get up and feverishly write my piece for that day (as with reading, I am a slooooooow writer), then put it though a few rounds of edits. After formatting it for the website, hitting “post,” and linking it on my social media accounts, I would hurriedly reserve my tickets for the next day’s screenings before jumping in the shower in order to make it to that day’s first showtime.
I was miserably exhausted. All work and no sleep makes Josh an irritable, unhappy boy.
When thinking about how I wanted to do it differently this year, I had an epiphany. Ok, not so much an epiphany as a mundane observation. When reflecting on last year’s FF experience, I realized that a significant amount of each day was spent standing around waiting for the next screening to start. The fest happens almost exclusively in one theater, Alamo’s flagship South Lamar location in Austin, so I was essentially walking into and out of the same ten screening rooms for 12 hours each day and standing around in the lobby in between.
Alamo South Lamar’s restaurant/bar is called The Highball. My plan of action this year is to post up there (perhaps with a tasty adult beverage) and write a quick paragraph or two about each movie immediately after I’ve seen it. That way, by nine p.m. or so, I should essentially have the next day’s piece finished.
While I’m waiting on the midnight screening, I can do the editing, formatting , and scheduling. I’ll include a quick summary of the midnight screening as the first item on the following day’s piece. I think doing it this way will allow me to sleep in – or, at the very least, relax for a few hours if I wake early – before gearing up for the next round of screenings.
Rae, the light of my life, graciously volunteered her time this year to custom make a spreadsheet for me of every screening, in order to make picking a title for each round as frictionless as possible. Last year, I was in complete flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants mode; I was picking each day’s screenings hurriedly (and with little research) the day before they happened. With her exhaustive spreadsheet and a little preparation, I’ll know exactly what I want to see for every single day of the fest before it even starts.
So, without further ado, let’s take a look at some of the titles I’m most anticipating seeing (synopses are quoted from the official Fantastic Fest guide, with additional comments from me):
The Toxic Avenger: “A horrible toxic accident transforms downtrodden janitor Winston Gooze into a new evolution of hero: THE TOXIC AVENGER!” This is the opening film of the fest. A reboot of the seminal 1984 Troma Entertainment cult-classic superhero black comedy splatter film, this 2023 release comes from director Macon Blair, known for his acting roles in director Jeremy Saulnier’s Blue Ruin and Green Room. This is Blair’s second directing effort, after 2017’s I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore. Troma titles have always fascinated me – Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. anyone? – and I met Lloyd Kaufman once when he did a book signing at the video store I worked at in college. I’m really hoping for a bonkers, fun time with this.
The Last Video Store: “Blaster Video’s only employee teams up with his best customer’s daughter to fight off an onslaught of B-movie baddies made real by a VHS necronomicon.” Speaking of the video store I worked at in college, the description for this 2023 Canadian release tugs at my nostalgic physical-media heartstrings.
Spooktacular!: “A new documentary tells the warts-and-all story behind America’s first horror theme park, Spooky World.” You know I love me some documentaries. This sounds fun and enlightening on a topic I never knew existed.
The Cult of the AGFA Trailer Show: “The world premiere 35mm screening of AGFA's wildest mixtape yet.” AGFA, the American Genre Film Archive, collects some of the most batshit titles you’ve never heard of. This mixtape promises to deliver some truly bonkers trailer moments. Fantastic Fest holds one of these midnight screenings every year, and I missed it last year. I will not make the same mistake again.
Kim’s Video: “An aspiring filmmaker with fond memories of browsing the shelves of a defunct NY video store attempts to rescue its singular collection of VHS tapes.” Sounds like a delightful doc!
Caligula: The Ultimate Cut: “Art historian Thomas Negovan offers a new cut of one of the most decadent movies ever made, using outtakes to reconcile the film to its original script.” I’ve never seen this 1979 erotic historical epic, which stars A Clockwork Orange’s Malcolm McDowell, Peter O’Toole, Sir John Gielgud, and Helen Mirren, and covers the life of the infamous Roman emperor. With a screenplay by none other than Gore Vidal, one of the three directors credited is Bob Guccione, the founder of Penthouse magazine. The orgy scene in this movie is legendary. I’ve heard it described as just short of full-blown pornography. I will not be missing this.
The People’s Joker: “The Joker finds new purpose in Gotham City after transitioning and opening an illegal comedy club in Vera Drew’s handcrafted superhero genre parody.” This was supposed to play last year, but was withdrawn when Warner Brothers – keepers of the sacred Batman IP – threatened to sue the makers of this unsanctioned take on a trans Joker. A must see.
Everything is Terrible Presents 100 Best Kills: SATAN: This is something else that Fantastic Fest is known for: midnight screening mixtapes of some of the wildest, bloodiest kills in trash cinema. Again, because I ditched the midnight screenings early on at last year’s fest, I missed it. This one will be a priority. There’s no description available on the website, but the title says it all. The devil is in the details. Hail Satan.
Totally Killer: “When the infamous "Sweet Sixteen Killer" returns 35 years after his first murder spree to claim another victim, 17-year-old Jamie (Kiernan Shipka) accidentally travels back in time to 1987, determined to stop the killer before he can start.” This is the closing film of the fest. Sounds like a lot of fun!
The Nest: “Roaches have never tasted flesh… Until now.” Presented by AGFA, the VHS cover art for this 1988 cult-classic mesmerized me as a wee lad standing in our local Sight & Sound video store. I never had the courage to actually rent it (and it’s doubtful the clerk would have rented it to a minor, anyway), so I plan to catch up with it as a mid-40s adult. Look at this image and tell me you aren’t at least a little curious:
FF Secret Screenings: So, you’re telling me I’ll have no idea what I’m about to plop down in front of until the very second that the projector roars to life? Where do I sign? There were a series of these sponsored by AGFA at last year’s fest, showing horror titles from the 1970s and ‘80s. I don’t see any branded specifically that way this year, but there are a total of four secret screenings on the schedule. I missed one last year, and it turned out to be the 2022 reboot of Hellraiser, starring my beloved Jamie Clayton as Pinhead. I’m going to do my best to catch every secret screening on offer this year.
That is the tiniest fraction of the over-100 titles that will be screening at this year’s Fantastic Fest. Here are a few other offerings that have me intrigued based on the titles alone: #Manhole, There’s Something in the Barn, I’ll Crush Y’all, Messiah of Evil, and Suitable Flesh. The dates for the fest are Sept. 21-28. Check back here every day (if all goes according to plan!) during the fest to read my reactions to everything I’ve seen.
Movies are neat.